Live, Learn, Teach

Life is hard. Whether you are an adult or not; whether you have kids or you are one, the fact remains that life is hard. Honestly it is meant to be so that we can learn the lessons we are supposed to. Personally I feel that we are meant to learn these lessons and then pass them on to the next generation. We continue to repeat past mistakes and we continue to struggle, but are we doing everything we can to make life a little easier. No! We are doing nothing to truly insure that they are going to be able to take care of things in the future. We are letting them run wild in the streets like we don’t care what happens to them. Now I’m sure that might sound a bit harsh since they are going to school and learning history, but we are not teaching them not to repeat it. And we aren’t exactly teaching them the whole truth, only what the government deems necessary for them to know. The rest is up to us. We need to stop letting superficial issues be the resting place of our conversations with our children. Get down deep to the nitty gritty parts of life. As much as reading, writing, and arithmetic are important so are life skills like self-esteem, how to deal with difficult situations, or how to be the best version of themselves that they can be.

School can’t teach them everything; something has to be done to help the schools. As it is they are overburdened, overworked, and underfunded. As parents struggling to survive in this economy we are going through the same thing. However it is our responsibility to prepare our children for their future. We need to prepare them for our future also, because who do you think is going to be taking care of us when we no longer can? They need us to show them the way, the right way! Most of us have very little time for ourselves let alone our children, but we need to find the time. Make the time. Make a time budget so that you will always have the time for your family. It is vital to the welfare of not only your child’s future but also the future of the world. You don’t know what kind of influence they will have or what they will do with it. Imagine for one moment that your child was elected President of the United States. What kind of President do you think they would be? Even if for some wild and crazy possibility they were elected President with the attitude they have today, what kind of President do you think they would really be? For some of us that is a scary thought. That is why we need to do the best we can to teach them to be the best version of themselves, because they could become anyone. Why not insure that the person they become is a person worthy of your child’s name. 

Right now as a whole our species is producing more waste than anything. We are overpopulating, over producing, and over polluting and in the process dragging ourselves deeper and deeper into this sad place of existence. We are starving in different places all over the world. We are murdering and raping each other every day in different places all over the world. We are homeless, we are sick, we are scared, and we are fighting for our lives every day all over the world. We are selfish, we are greedy, and we are full of hatred. We need to stop thinking with the “us/them” attitude and acting like spoiled children, because it is only teaching our children to be spoiled. We must learn to share with one another. We must learn that we are all connected to each other. We are all the same. Yes we are all different. But we are all the same. We all bleed the same blood, different blood types or not, it’s all the same. We are one. One species, just different breeds. We must start to see each other as true equals and as we would see ourselves and treat each other as such. Or we will continue to feel separated from everyone and everything and lost in a world of greed. Do you really want that kind of life for your children or your grandchildren? Or do you want them to be able to go through life with less difficulty than you did. One where they might actually have a chance to make a difference is a possibility if you teach them right.

This is where we learn from our mistakes and teach our children a better way to live. Teach them not to be afraid of life, but to take charge of it. Teach them how to handle difficult situations that way they don’t have to turn to drugs or alcohol. If you teach them that they are worth something, that their limitations are endless then they might believe it for themselves. These days we are truly our own worst enemy, because we have too much self-doubt, fear, and anger sitting inside of us. We are so full of all this negativity that it is no wonder our kids today have such low self-esteem and are going through such hell these days. They see how we are as their parents and they follow our example. We are not only their first teachers, but we should be their most influential ones. We need to teach them how to deal with bullies or how not to be one. We need to teach them how to handle money, so they don’t have to struggle later. We need to teach them about life after high school, because they look to us for life’s answers even if they don’t actually ask. So all you have to do is teach them right and lead by example. The best way to teach them how to be the best version of themselves is to be the best you that you can be. Lead by example.

Who Is In Control Of Your Life

Who is in control of your life?  What is going right or wrong in your life? When things go wrong, who do you blame? Serious questions that we should all take a step back and think about. I personally have been through a lot of stuff that made me lose control, everything went wrong, and I blamed everyone else. I could not see that it was me causing all my problems. I was so busy blaming everyone else that I could not see that it was my own disbelief in myself that was holding me back. I could not see past my own negative feelings to see anything positive. I just wanted to point the finger everywhere else than where it belonged. I would say that I was too distracted by my son. I would say my husband didn’t support me enough. I know now that I was scared. I let everything stop me from being me.

I know that I have to stand up and take responsibility for my actions. I cannot continue to put the blame anywhere else but where it belongs, on me. After my life kind of fell apart before my eyes it sent me on one hell of a roller coaster. Except I couldn’t get off of it. It just kept making me go around and around and around. Finally I’m off, but dizzy as hell. I know that before I can take my first real step, I have to take a break to sit down and get my bearings. It’s time to step back and clear my head or I am going to only wind up back on that stupid roller coaster. I am making the choice to take control and to rebuild my life better than it has ever been. It can be done, I see people starting over every day; now it is my turn. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I do know that it is going to be worth it. But it’s going to have to start with a good foundation; which means I have to make sure my head and my heart are both in the right place. I also have to make sure that I rely on my support system more; they are there for a reason; so I don’t give up again! I have already sacrificed too much to give up now! Others have also sacrificed for me to give up now!

I know that there is a lot that is out of my control, but I have a hard time accepting that. So I tell myself every day, that I am only one person and what is out of my control I will leave up to God. I know that whatever the future holds I can handle it. I know that since I’ve made it this far, there is no reason to turn back now, besides there actually is no way back. You can’t go back, no matter how you look at it. You are actually standing still when you think you are going back. You’ve got only forward to go, or you can stand still until you are ready to keep moving. Ultimately the decision is yours. And there is no one to blame but yourself for where you are. I’ve been afraid of what would change if I were to keep walking forward, but I know things have to change from time to time. Without change nothing would ever improve.  So think about that the next time something changes or causes change in your life. You never know, it could be bringing something even better for you.  That’s where faith comes in. You have to learn to let go and tell God what you desire for the outcome and leave it up to him. Have faith that he will provide if you are willing to trust him and walk with him.

Some say that if you think positive and speak positive then you will start to feel more positive and your life will actually start to go in a more positive direction.  Many also say that’s ridiculous, but their disbelief keeps them from allowing it to happen to them. I’m the same way; I’ve said all the same stuff. In reality though, it’s just hard for those of us that simply think in a negative way to believe that anything positive can happen. But what we don’t realize is that we are not allowing positive to happen to us, because our negative attitudes keep us closed off from positive change. Then you say, ‘yeah, just because I say it doesn’t mean I believe it.’ Guess what, you don’t have to believe it. Because eventually you will. If you make yourself do it, even if you don’t feel it, over and over, and you keep doing it. Eventually you are going to actually start believing it. But through disbelief many are unwilling to even try. Or they start, but don’t keep it up long enough for it to sink in. It depends on how deep that negativity goes down to your core is how long it will take to flush it away. Think of all your negative emotions like molasses creeping in through your pores and trying to suffocate you through your body. If you want to feel better you are going to have to flush it out of your system.

It’s not easy, but if you are willing to keep trying and keep moving forward then anything is possible. No matter how ridiculous it seems, or even feels. The people that are telling you that if you think positive, then positive things will happen for you; they know what they are talking about. They’ve done it themselves and know it works. I’ve seen it happen for me plenty, but then usually something happens that takes me back to that negative place. I have yet to fully retrain my brain to think positively all the time. But when it does think in positive mode, but when it does everything in my life is better! I feel better physically, emotionally, spiritually. I see my path much more clearly. Things just start going my way with a lot of stuff in my life. Then when I hit that snag, it gets caught and damn near destroys everything I’ve worked so hard for. Usually I let it get me down and then I’m stuck in the same spot for months because I can’t focus on anything other than that one snag. I now know not to focus on the snag, just fix it however you can and keep working. It’s ok to freak out a little, but don’t dwell on it. Just say, ‘ok, stuff happens… it’s happened, but I can’t change it so may as well go with it’. Because you can’t go back, you can only move forward or stand still. You just have the make the choice of which you would rather do. Do you want to stay in the same spot you are or do you want to move on and keep living your life?

Attitude Should Equal Effort

Whatever it is that you want to do with your life you need to make sure that your attitude equals the effort you put into it. You can’t just think that just because you want it, that it is going to happen. It’s not quite that easy.  You need to have the right attitude to start with. You need to believe in whatever it is you are going to do and most important believe in your ability to make it happen. You have to believe whole heartedly that you will succeed. If you don’t believe in yourself then you don’t have the right attitude. Your attitude is more important than you might think, because it is the energy within your purpose. You have to open your mind to the possibilities that can happen for you, because if you don’t believe in them, they can’t happen. If you are not able to put the right energy into it, you are simply wasting your time. You don’t want to put negative energy into your future, or it will always be there. Give yourself a fresh start, it is ok to do it if you are willing to do it right.  Life is already difficult, so why do you want to make it any harder on yourself?

Start from this point making the right decisions that will make your life what it is supposed to be. If you don’t have a family, then do it for yourself. If you do have a family then you owe it to them to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be. Times change and we must change with them. Think of it like an upgrade, but first you should run an antivirus and get rid of all those nasty viruses that are taking up too much space. Think of your brain, your personality, like a computer and you can just clean it up. If you replace at least half of your negative thoughts with positive ones and you’d be surprised as to how you feel. Type or write them out so that you can see them. Start with your fears, doubts and every negative thought you have about yourself, get them all down in list form. Then for every negative thought on another page put down a positive thought and cross out the negative one.  You will be strengthening everything that you are with this technique, if you are truly willing to follow through with it. You will be finding that your weaknesses can become your strengths.

 Let go of the fear, worry, anger, and any doubt you may have. Whatever you need to do to confront it, do it. As long as there is any doubt in your mind, it will stay there and make itself at home inside you. Kick all of those negative emotions out of you; or rather make them work for you. Use them as motivation. Turn all of those negative feelings into your greatest strengths. You can’t be afraid to move forward or to be something. You are already someone, and darn it, you are someone special. You know you have something to offer, you just have to become the best at it and put it out there. Do your absolute best even if it is just to spite the nay sayers, at first, then turn it into your passion! Then turn your passion into your being. Be who it is that you want people to see when they look at you. Let that be who you are inside and out.

Remember it’s your life; you have to be the one to live it. You have to be the one to do it, day in and day out. Since it’s your life, how do you want it to go? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want people to say when they talk about you? Some things you should think about when you are trying to figure out who you are.  Think about the long run, what kind of person do you want to be?

Attitude is not everything though. EFFORT! You must put in the same amount of effort into your life as the amount of attitude you put into it. It’s that nasty four letter word that comes in to play here; work. You really do have to work for what you want. The more effort you put into something, the more you’ll get out of it. Also realize that the better the attitude you have, the more effort you will want to put into it.  Which in turn means the more you want to get out of life, means the more effort you’re going to have to put into it.

 It won’t even feel like work once you’ve turned it into your passion and into who you are. It is a very long process, but like anything in life it will be worth the wait. Once you really start working towards your goals time will also seem to speed up because you’re enjoying what you do. It is so important to enjoy what you do and who you are. Even if things aren’t going your way right now, they can start if you are willing to match your effort to your attitude. Are you willing to go the extra mile, to take that extra step? Go above and beyond the call of duty for your life. No one else is going to do it for you. Your dreams are not going to be handed to you on a silver platter; you have to work for them. Why not get started now?