IN YOUR HOME
If you have a lot of disrespect going on around you it is hard to get any respect. However, when you are on the giving end of it, it’s hard for you to learn what real respect is. When people are indecent to you they are because you allow them to be. Either they see you being rude to yourself or allowing another to be rude to you and more than likely they despise themselves. You must first and foremost show yourself respect; that in itself demands respect from others. You must also respect anyone you come in contact with, even and especially if they are being rude to you. Because if you return their rudeness with more you are not only going down onto their level but you are also turning your respect for yourself into disrespect.
Sounds a little confusing, huh, but if you look at it over all it’s really very simple. For example, you are having a family BBQ and in the beginning everyone is having a good time and enjoying themselves. But after a while either someone has too much to drink and decides to cause trouble or a discussion gets heated and someone gets out of line. Generally what do we do when someone is yelling at us? We tend to yell back. There is when you are showing their disrespect with more disrespect. “But they started it,” you say. Well that doesn’t mean you have to return it. When someone shows you disrespect in such a manner that is when you must be the bigger person and be gleaming with respect. You start that by saying, “I respectfully decline your disrespect.” First off they won’t know what to do, because they are more than likely trying to get you to show them disrespect by being disrespectful in the first place. But taking the high road will save you from their negative vibes, energy, thoughts however you wish to say it.
They will more than likely again try to bring you down to their level by showing you more disrespect. And at that point you give them a choice. You tell them that they have a chance, but only one and the next time it will be your choice. Tell them that their choice is to let go of the negative that they are spewing and show respect or they must leave. It is their choice; also remind them that this is the only chance that you are giving them the choice. Do not tell them the choice that you will make if they mess up their chance until they do so. If they decline the choice to take the high road or they mess up their chance then you must take action. Do what I call the Roadhouse method, where Patrick Swayze told the other bouncers to be nice when they had to deal with the mean drunks. You gave them a chance, now that is gone, but that doesn’t mean that you need to show them disrespect. So when that time comes you tell them again that you respectfully decline their disrespect and now they MUST leave. You can give them a choice of how they leave and there are three options. Tell them that they can go quietly, they can be escorted to the door, or you will call the police and they can be taken out in handcuffs. Offer to call them a cab or have someone take them home if they have been drinking, because letting them drive drunk is showing them disrespect. But the choice is theirs of those three; however the choice to stay is no longer available. Also that if they choose to come back into your home the next time they do they should be prepared to be respectful and courteous because you will no longer tolerate their disrespect.
In this you must be strong and bold in your courteousness and in your demand for respect otherwise they will not take you seriously and the situation could get out of hand. If they choose to get physical, avoid it if at all possible, and YES stay courteous. But as soon as you have the chance either tell someone else or call the police yourself. Unless there are other people there that are willing to help you get the person under control, but they too must be courteous, otherwise it’s pointless.
STRANGER IN PUBLIC SETTING
I’m sure we’ve all had this happen, just walking down the street or out shopping and someone thinks that they have the right to get your face. I know I have, sad to say. For example you are out shopping and the sales person or cashier is rude to you. Well first know that their job is very stressful, I know, I used to have that job. More than likely they are projecting their stress onto whomever they come in contact with without even realizing what they are doing. So instead of being rude right back to them show them as much kindness as you can. Smile at them, say please and thank you, tell them to have a nice day; you might actually make their day a little brighter.
Another example is that you come across some random stranger that seems to have a beef with the world and decides to take it out on you. Again you can tell them that you respectfully decline their disrespect. Wish them a nice day and walk away. Keep yourself positive and by getting away from them as quickly as possible you will be able to do that. Hope that your positive vibes positively affected them and move on.
RELATIONSHIPS
Now I’m sure everyone has gone through this at one point or another! No matter what the problem itself is, there is no reason for disrespect between two people in a relationship (or out for that matter) no matter how long they’ve been together. First let me remind you that how other’s treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. Second, how they treat others is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Now that is out of the way we can deal with the situations that make even the nicest people mean as Hell.
Now if it’s a new relationship and there are no children involved it’s a solution that can be easily remedied. However if you’ve let disrespect be a part of your relationship for more than a few months it’s going to take some time to get the respect back. And if there are children involved there is a lot that will need to be righted so that they don’t grow up and end up in the same situation. After all they learn what they see, and they usually see their parents as role models, and you don’t want your children learning to be disrespectful do you? No I would hope not. So how do you fix it you ask? I’m getting there.
If you haven’t been together very long the answer is simple. Tell the person that you won’t stand for their disrespect and demeaning behavior. If it is at all possible get to the heart of the disrespect and find out why it happened. If you can’t then don’t worry about it and move forward with nothing but respect. If they continue to show you disrespect while you are being nothing but respectful then that is a good time to see that they don’t deserve you. You can remedy that by breaking up with this person and moving on with your life. How can I be so cold you ask? Well it’s simple, even if you feel very deeply for this person and you think they feel the same about you if they are showing you even the occasional disrespect then they either don’t feel that deeply for you or they simply don’t know how to show respect.
Now if you’ve been in the relationship for a while and it’s a reoccurring theme you must stop it in its tracks now. You can’t blame your partner entirely for the situation that you have found yourself in. If you are conscious of it right now, then you can change it. If there are children involved then I hope for your sake that you do change it, because they see it and they will copy it. Most children do as their parents do, and if they see you disrespecting each other they will think that is the way two people are supposed to act. But now you know better and you can make it better and show them better.
As I’ve said before the way a person treats others is a reflection of how they treat themselves and how the other person treats them’. So if you start treating yourself with more respect you will command it from others, and if you show others more respect they will begin to feel it for themselves. It has to start somewhere so it may as well start with you. And since you have read this article you have made one step in the right direction to getting respect back in your life.
If you have a lot of disrespect going on around you it is hard to get any respect. However, when you are on the giving end of it, it’s hard for you to learn what real respect is. When people are indecent to you they are because you allow them to be. Either they see you being rude to yourself or allowing another to be rude to you and more than likely they despise themselves. You must first and foremost show yourself respect; that in itself demands respect from others. You must also respect anyone you come in contact with, even and especially if they are being rude to you. Because if you return their rudeness with more you are not only going down onto their level but you are also turning your respect for yourself into disrespect.
Sounds a little confusing, huh, but if you look at it over all it’s really very simple. For example, you are having a family BBQ and in the beginning everyone is having a good time and enjoying themselves. But after a while either someone has too much to drink and decides to cause trouble or a discussion gets heated and someone gets out of line. Generally what do we do when someone is yelling at us? We tend to yell back. There is when you are showing their disrespect with more disrespect. “But they started it,” you say. Well that doesn’t mean you have to return it. When someone shows you disrespect in such a manner that is when you must be the bigger person and be gleaming with respect. You start that by saying, “I respectfully decline your disrespect.” First off they won’t know what to do, because they are more than likely trying to get you to show them disrespect by being disrespectful in the first place. But taking the high road will save you from their negative vibes, energy, thoughts however you wish to say it.
They will more than likely again try to bring you down to their level by showing you more disrespect. And at that point you give them a choice. You tell them that they have a chance, but only one and the next time it will be your choice. Tell them that their choice is to let go of the negative that they are spewing and show respect or they must leave. It is their choice; also remind them that this is the only chance that you are giving them the choice. Do not tell them the choice that you will make if they mess up their chance until they do so. If they decline the choice to take the high road or they mess up their chance then you must take action. Do what I call the Roadhouse method, where Patrick Swayze told the other bouncers to be nice when they had to deal with the mean drunks. You gave them a chance, now that is gone, but that doesn’t mean that you need to show them disrespect. So when that time comes you tell them again that you respectfully decline their disrespect and now they MUST leave. You can give them a choice of how they leave and there are three options. Tell them that they can go quietly, they can be escorted to the door, or you will call the police and they can be taken out in handcuffs. Offer to call them a cab or have someone take them home if they have been drinking, because letting them drive drunk is showing them disrespect. But the choice is theirs of those three; however the choice to stay is no longer available. Also that if they choose to come back into your home the next time they do they should be prepared to be respectful and courteous because you will no longer tolerate their disrespect.
In this you must be strong and bold in your courteousness and in your demand for respect otherwise they will not take you seriously and the situation could get out of hand. If they choose to get physical, avoid it if at all possible, and YES stay courteous. But as soon as you have the chance either tell someone else or call the police yourself. Unless there are other people there that are willing to help you get the person under control, but they too must be courteous, otherwise it’s pointless.
STRANGER IN PUBLIC SETTING
I’m sure we’ve all had this happen, just walking down the street or out shopping and someone thinks that they have the right to get your face. I know I have, sad to say. For example you are out shopping and the sales person or cashier is rude to you. Well first know that their job is very stressful, I know, I used to have that job. More than likely they are projecting their stress onto whomever they come in contact with without even realizing what they are doing. So instead of being rude right back to them show them as much kindness as you can. Smile at them, say please and thank you, tell them to have a nice day; you might actually make their day a little brighter.
Another example is that you come across some random stranger that seems to have a beef with the world and decides to take it out on you. Again you can tell them that you respectfully decline their disrespect. Wish them a nice day and walk away. Keep yourself positive and by getting away from them as quickly as possible you will be able to do that. Hope that your positive vibes positively affected them and move on.
RELATIONSHIPS
Now I’m sure everyone has gone through this at one point or another! No matter what the problem itself is, there is no reason for disrespect between two people in a relationship (or out for that matter) no matter how long they’ve been together. First let me remind you that how other’s treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. Second, how they treat others is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Now that is out of the way we can deal with the situations that make even the nicest people mean as Hell.
Now if it’s a new relationship and there are no children involved it’s a solution that can be easily remedied. However if you’ve let disrespect be a part of your relationship for more than a few months it’s going to take some time to get the respect back. And if there are children involved there is a lot that will need to be righted so that they don’t grow up and end up in the same situation. After all they learn what they see, and they usually see their parents as role models, and you don’t want your children learning to be disrespectful do you? No I would hope not. So how do you fix it you ask? I’m getting there.
If you haven’t been together very long the answer is simple. Tell the person that you won’t stand for their disrespect and demeaning behavior. If it is at all possible get to the heart of the disrespect and find out why it happened. If you can’t then don’t worry about it and move forward with nothing but respect. If they continue to show you disrespect while you are being nothing but respectful then that is a good time to see that they don’t deserve you. You can remedy that by breaking up with this person and moving on with your life. How can I be so cold you ask? Well it’s simple, even if you feel very deeply for this person and you think they feel the same about you if they are showing you even the occasional disrespect then they either don’t feel that deeply for you or they simply don’t know how to show respect.
Now if you’ve been in the relationship for a while and it’s a reoccurring theme you must stop it in its tracks now. You can’t blame your partner entirely for the situation that you have found yourself in. If you are conscious of it right now, then you can change it. If there are children involved then I hope for your sake that you do change it, because they see it and they will copy it. Most children do as their parents do, and if they see you disrespecting each other they will think that is the way two people are supposed to act. But now you know better and you can make it better and show them better.
As I’ve said before the way a person treats others is a reflection of how they treat themselves and how the other person treats them’. So if you start treating yourself with more respect you will command it from others, and if you show others more respect they will begin to feel it for themselves. It has to start somewhere so it may as well start with you. And since you have read this article you have made one step in the right direction to getting respect back in your life.
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