Get Into Your Flow

Life is like a river, you must go with the flow. I read that in a book once, and it really made me think. When you are rushing through life looking for that next thrill it’s like you are white water rafting and you better hold on because it can get dangerous. When you fight the current, you struggle too hard and the current drags you under and if you’re not careful you’ll drown. Fighting the current in trying to stay in one place can turn you into an island, if you stand there long enough. The water will change directions, levels, and in many other ways over time, but the best way to go through it is to go with the flow. Each person’s life is a separate river, and many times they connect and separate and sometimes they simply run parallel to each other. But each person’s role in their own river changes as that person changes.

No matter what position you are in while you are in your river, you can change it if you choose to. Personally in my own river I’ve nearly drown several times, turned into an island a few times, been white water rafting, etc. At the moment its smooth sailing, just chillin’ and floatin’ down the river enjoying the scenery. Just going with the flow in between a few rapids here and there that are life’s bumps just to make sure I’m still awake and to teach me the lessons I must learn along the way. Although every now and then I feel the current changing around me, occasionally pulling me under. At those moments of pure struggle, my lungs filling with water, my vision blurred by the force, my feet struggling to find solid ground I realize I have to stop fighting. Once I stop fighting I find myself back at the surface trying to get rid of all the water I took in during my struggle. But at each occurrence as soon as I have a chance to fill my lungs with air again, I look at the situation and try to find the lesson to be learned so that I may avoid it if it crosses my path again.

It’s an intense feeling in every position of the river. For me being able to relax and float on the surface is pure bliss. It’s soothing and enriching and fun to be able to watch the scenery, to pick flowers along the bank, to feel the sun on my face. It’s energizing simply floating along the river as if on an inner tube. That’s when everything in life seems to work and fit together. Like when traffic seems to split for you or you only hit green lights. For me it’s when my child behaves and my husband decides to cook dinner. It’s when my hair does what I want and everything I’m wearing matches perfectly. Knowing that I’ll get to accomplish everything I’ve set out to accomplish. They are the moments where time sometimes stands still so that it can be fully enjoyed. The feeling of pure bliss I get when my son kisses me good-night and says, “I wuv you.” You could consider it like surfing; catching the perfect wave and riding it as long as possible.

Being pulled under, however, is very scary; it’s intense fear, dread, and terror. It’s like there’s a creature at the bottom of the river and it’s got a hold of you with a very, very firm grip. It’s getting a flat tire in the middle of traffic when you’re already late for work that makes you lose your job and going home to huge mess that is left for you to clean up. It’s finding out your spouse is cheating on you with your best friend and is going to leave you and take your children. For me it is sometimes constant, it’s my fears getting the best of me, my child making an enormous mess of my just cleaned home, it’s getting on the scale everyday waiting for the number to get smaller. They are feelings like the things that bullies used to say about me are coming true; it’s a fear that I’ll never be good enough. Every time I have these feelings that monster gets a hold of my ankles and drags me down as far as I will let it take me. If I’m not careful and never find a way to conquer my fears that control the beast, it will eventually drag me down and I won’t be able to get back to the surface.

Then there is becoming an island, and it is a great frustration. It’s like being stuck in a rut that just keeps getting deeper and deeper and you end up with a giant hole. It’s almost like being put in time out, but they forgot and left you there for as long as it takes to truly learn your lesson. It’s like wanting to have a luxurious life style, and I mean really wanting it, but not doing what it takes to have it or keep it; like getting an education and a good job. It’s like wanting to be a well known fashion designer but at the same time not willing to learn how to sew or take classes that would help in any way. I’ve been many different islands for many different reasons but as the water began to erode my edges I realized I was being stubborn and foolish for thinking that what I wanted would simply be handed to me. If you don’t learn that lesson that has turned you into an island eventually the water will erode you down until there is nothing left and you are lining the bottom of your river.

There are many reasons that the speed of the current can get faster, but none as dangerous as the high speeds over big and jagged rocks. When you first fall in love the current speeds up, when you are a teenager the current runs really fast almost all the time, when you become a parent the current hits you like a freight train. But when you’re looking to get to the end of the river as fast as you can those jagged rocks cut through your skin like glass as you bounce around and over the top of them. For me, as a teenager my river was fast, hard, and kind of scary. When I fell in love it was a fast but smooth ride. When I became a parent it was really scary at first and still is at times, and I know the real adventure has just begun, like when he becomes a teenager. No matter what causes your river’s current to speed up you best hold on tight while you can so that you can enjoy it while it lasts until it levels out again. If you still only want the speed and don’t hold on you can either be cut to pieces by the rocks or get knocked off and dragged down to the bottom of the river.