Is your relationship full of negative emotions? Do you harbor anger and disgust for your spouse? Do you often wish you could turn back the hands of time to before you got married or simply wish you could get a quick and easy divorce? And all the while still having even the slightest amount of love for them? If you answered yes to any of those questions, read on.
You can't expect to have a fulfilling relationship if you harbor any negative emotions toward your spouse. Yeah sure they might get on your nerves every now and then, but that feeling passes, at least it's supposed to. But if you have grudges that you've been holding on to for any more time than a few months then it's time to let them go.
If you have loving feelings for your spouse, to the point that you still say "I love you" then you should consider doing what is necessary to make things work. That means letting go of the past and forgiving them. If you keep holding onto all that anger your love will slowly become tainted and will eventually be turned into hate. And any person with hate in their heart has no hope for the future. If it's something that they don't even know about, talk to them. Get everything out in the open, you will feel better. And then you can start to forgive and heal. Having hate in your heart is like having an open wound and if you let it sit there it's going to slowly get worse it's going to get infected and spread to all of your other organs like a disease killing you. That is what negativity is, it's a disease. And the cure you ask? Positivity! Crazy you say? Ask the people that use the Law of Attraction. Ask the people that star in "The Secret" they will all tell you the same thing.
So take step one to release your negativity. Talk about it, get it out in the open, and let it go. Take what ever steps you have to in order to fully let go of it.
Step two is to change your line of thinking about them. You must have once loved them. Remember those loving thoughts and ask yourself if you want to feel like that again. Do you want to be in love? If you do, show them that you want to be in love. Show them that you want their love. Show them that you can build and even better, even stronger love than ever before. See the things that they do to make you smile. See the things they do that warms your heart. Appreciate those things. Show them your appreciation. Show them the respect and love that you want them to show you. Even if they aren't currently showing you that love and respect, the more you show them, the more they will see it and feel it and then return it.
Step three is to change the way you think about yourself. If you've had negative feelings going on for someone else, there is a chance that some of that negativity spread to the way you feel about yourself. So you gotta clean out the cobwebs and wipe the slate clean. Start with daily affirmations and even leaving notes for yourself that are positive and uplifting. The more positive you think and feel about yourself, the better everything else will start to be. Because remember, positivity is the cure!
Step four is to give it time. Things aren't going to rapidly change over night. You have to be patient. You have to be willing to give just a little more. I know it sounds like a load of bs, but it's not. I've been there in my own marriage. And it took several months before we got to a better place. As the days go by we gradually get better and better and are falling deeper and deeper in love. When you let go of all the anxieties and the pain and give in to the desire and love things begin to flow a lot smoother and it makes the ride a little less irritating.
At first I resisted. I said, "No, I will not give any more of myself. He's already taken so much. He will have to be the one to give." I was being foolish. It took time before I realized that he didn't know what I wanted. We talked about it and he felt the exact same way I did. He wanted my love and affection, but I was too negative for him to approach me. I thought to myself, "Wow, I never would have thought he felt the same way." So I did something about it. I let go of all my anger, I forgave him of all the pain he made me feel, I began to show him love. Slowly but surely he came around and saw that I was easier to be around and happy to be with him. And we are still making progress every day.
If my marriage which was on the brink of divorce can change and get better, then so can yours. But! Yes, folks, there is that nasty word. You have to be willing to work at it. You have to be willing to rock the boat. If you aren't willing to rock the boat, then you may as well get out. If that boat is out to sea and you aren't willing to rock it to paddle it back to shore your only choices are to sit there or swim. And if you sit there long enough that chances of survival are very slim. Do what you have to, to make your life worth living!
**I wrote this article in August of 2010 when things were going better in my marriage. Now we are getting divorced, but that doesn't make anything I said in the article any less true. In fact, the way I see it, it makes it even more important. I forgive him for all the hurt he caused me and for his sake I hope he forgives me for all that I may have caused him. In reaching this state of forgiveness I am now able to move forward. I am able to live the life that I have always desired, because I do not have all that hurt and pain holding me back. I am able to now enjoy the present because it is a present every single day. I am now able to move into the future with a pure spirit. I am able to embrace all that I am and all that I will be. I am no longer letting him or the pain he caused me hold me back from the true me, all because I have found a way to forgive him.
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