Get Into Your Flow

Life is like a river, you must go with the flow. I read that in a book once, and it really made me think. When you are rushing through life looking for that next thrill it’s like you are white water rafting and you better hold on because it can get dangerous. When you fight the current, you struggle too hard and the current drags you under and if you’re not careful you’ll drown. Fighting the current in trying to stay in one place can turn you into an island, if you stand there long enough. The water will change directions, levels, and in many other ways over time, but the best way to go through it is to go with the flow. Each person’s life is a separate river, and many times they connect and separate and sometimes they simply run parallel to each other. But each person’s role in their own river changes as that person changes.

No matter what position you are in while you are in your river, you can change it if you choose to. Personally in my own river I’ve nearly drown several times, turned into an island a few times, been white water rafting, etc. At the moment its smooth sailing, just chillin’ and floatin’ down the river enjoying the scenery. Just going with the flow in between a few rapids here and there that are life’s bumps just to make sure I’m still awake and to teach me the lessons I must learn along the way. Although every now and then I feel the current changing around me, occasionally pulling me under. At those moments of pure struggle, my lungs filling with water, my vision blurred by the force, my feet struggling to find solid ground I realize I have to stop fighting. Once I stop fighting I find myself back at the surface trying to get rid of all the water I took in during my struggle. But at each occurrence as soon as I have a chance to fill my lungs with air again, I look at the situation and try to find the lesson to be learned so that I may avoid it if it crosses my path again.

It’s an intense feeling in every position of the river. For me being able to relax and float on the surface is pure bliss. It’s soothing and enriching and fun to be able to watch the scenery, to pick flowers along the bank, to feel the sun on my face. It’s energizing simply floating along the river as if on an inner tube. That’s when everything in life seems to work and fit together. Like when traffic seems to split for you or you only hit green lights. For me it’s when my child behaves and my husband decides to cook dinner. It’s when my hair does what I want and everything I’m wearing matches perfectly. Knowing that I’ll get to accomplish everything I’ve set out to accomplish. They are the moments where time sometimes stands still so that it can be fully enjoyed. The feeling of pure bliss I get when my son kisses me good-night and says, “I wuv you.” You could consider it like surfing; catching the perfect wave and riding it as long as possible.

Being pulled under, however, is very scary; it’s intense fear, dread, and terror. It’s like there’s a creature at the bottom of the river and it’s got a hold of you with a very, very firm grip. It’s getting a flat tire in the middle of traffic when you’re already late for work that makes you lose your job and going home to huge mess that is left for you to clean up. It’s finding out your spouse is cheating on you with your best friend and is going to leave you and take your children. For me it is sometimes constant, it’s my fears getting the best of me, my child making an enormous mess of my just cleaned home, it’s getting on the scale everyday waiting for the number to get smaller. They are feelings like the things that bullies used to say about me are coming true; it’s a fear that I’ll never be good enough. Every time I have these feelings that monster gets a hold of my ankles and drags me down as far as I will let it take me. If I’m not careful and never find a way to conquer my fears that control the beast, it will eventually drag me down and I won’t be able to get back to the surface.

Then there is becoming an island, and it is a great frustration. It’s like being stuck in a rut that just keeps getting deeper and deeper and you end up with a giant hole. It’s almost like being put in time out, but they forgot and left you there for as long as it takes to truly learn your lesson. It’s like wanting to have a luxurious life style, and I mean really wanting it, but not doing what it takes to have it or keep it; like getting an education and a good job. It’s like wanting to be a well known fashion designer but at the same time not willing to learn how to sew or take classes that would help in any way. I’ve been many different islands for many different reasons but as the water began to erode my edges I realized I was being stubborn and foolish for thinking that what I wanted would simply be handed to me. If you don’t learn that lesson that has turned you into an island eventually the water will erode you down until there is nothing left and you are lining the bottom of your river.

There are many reasons that the speed of the current can get faster, but none as dangerous as the high speeds over big and jagged rocks. When you first fall in love the current speeds up, when you are a teenager the current runs really fast almost all the time, when you become a parent the current hits you like a freight train. But when you’re looking to get to the end of the river as fast as you can those jagged rocks cut through your skin like glass as you bounce around and over the top of them. For me, as a teenager my river was fast, hard, and kind of scary. When I fell in love it was a fast but smooth ride. When I became a parent it was really scary at first and still is at times, and I know the real adventure has just begun, like when he becomes a teenager. No matter what causes your river’s current to speed up you best hold on tight while you can so that you can enjoy it while it lasts until it levels out again. If you still only want the speed and don’t hold on you can either be cut to pieces by the rocks or get knocked off and dragged down to the bottom of the river.

Accept You For You

When we think of acceptance, we think of how others will accept us or how we will accept them. But that should be a given, an automatic response when meeting someone new. Why do we feel that others have to work to get our acceptance? At the same time why do we feel we have to be someone other than ourselves for others to like us? It should be as simple as a handshake. If we can trust again we can have wonderful friendships again. But how do we get to that point that we can trust others? Well we have to start with trusting ourselves. It all starts within, and if everyone decided to change that part of themselves; imagine what the possibilities would be. We need to start to think of how we will accept ourselves. We have to let go of all the negative outside influences; all the things that people say, all the looks and what not that make us feel less than the best about ourselves. We have to let go of all of the pain and anger that those influences have caused us. It’s hard to let go of that pain, but it’s more worth it than you can even imagine. It starts with realizing that those things about you that others point out, is what we most dislike about ourselves. It is our own subconscious working against us. Because as much as we want others to accept those things about us that we do not, they cannot accept them until we do. We have to realize that all of the things that we "hate" about ourselves are what make us who we are; they are what make us beautiful.

Let me tell you a little about me. I'm 27 yrs old, I'm 5 ft 6", and I weigh over 200lbs. I have extremely pale skin, so pale that doctors have no trouble finding a vein because they are visible through my skin. I have sensitive skin so it’s almost always broken out one way or another in one place or another. And the brake outs tend to lead to shingles from time to time, depending on my stress level. I have very thin fingernails so they are always falling apart. I have a very miss proportioned body with large thighs an even larger rear end with slightly small (C cup, but looks small on my body) breasts and a”muffin top” tummy. I have dark brown hair with lots and lots of streaks of gray; which is something genetic that I get from my father. The overall structure of my body is like a man's with broad shoulders, wide hips, and big feet.

Those are just a few of the things about me that I have disliked about my body over the years for one reason or another. But I have realized that I can't really change those things. I mean sure I could get liposuction, dye my hair till it falls out, and get a spray tan, but what is the point all that wears off one way or another. And then I'd be back to the same old me, so why not accept it now. So I let go of the pain and the anger that all of these things have caused me. I don't always like them, but I accept them as part of who I am big feet and all. "Would a rose smell as sweet, by any other name?"—Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. The women he wrote about and had in mind for his plays were all different shapes, and all shades of beauty. We must realize that our beauty on the outside is linked to our beauty on the inside. Others see us as we see ourselves. There are a few that are able to look through our own hatred and barriers, and love us more than we can ever love ourselves. And those are the people that we must learn to hold on to.

Besides no matter how much I change on the outside that would change me on the inside, but not always for the better. That’s why there are movies of “the dorks or losers” becoming Prom King or Queen. But you can have many different results, you can have Carrie or She’s All That. It’s your choice, when you get what you want, how will you react. I could gain beauty on the outside and become vain and selfish on the inside. Or I could choose to first love myself on the inside and see my beauty as it is on the outside.  What will you feel on the inside about what is happening on the outside.  I would not be the person that I so dearly enjoy being, if I did much of anything to the carrier of my soul. I have come to think of my body as a temple and it houses the greatest Goddess I know, me. Not to mention that what I've gone through because of the way I look has made me the strong and independent and wonderful woman on the inside. All of the teasing, the dirty looks, the fat jokes and everything else that someone else used to hurt me, has given me the courage to stand up and say, I love who I am and now you may love me too. For me, the only thing I will ever change is to enhance my health, or to further decorate my body, that's it. Because I am who I am and I love who I am, grey hair, fat rolls, big butt and all. We should also take a lesson from Popeye, "I am what I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" toot toot. Lol.

I know that it is a hard road to acceptance, but take it one flaw at a time and see the beauty in it. That will help you find your acceptance.

Craving Confidence?

Some people will say that having confidence is simple and easy. I can't speak for those people, but I can speak for myself and say that it's not as easy as it might be for someone that has never been teased or been called a nasty name. It's also possible that some of these same people have not dealt with any form of disorder from an eating disorder to any other emotional/physical unbalance. It's easy for a person that has always had confidence to say that having confidence is easy.

Knowing that you want to have confidence and having it are two separate things, but they don't have to be. First you have to let go of all of the negative outside influences! Basically stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, that is a big part of it. You can't walk around worrying if someone is going to like you or like what you say or do or even wear. Because they aren't important, the important thing is that you like you or you believe in what you say and do and like what you wear. Which brings me to my next point all of the internal negative feelings and thoughts that you have about yourself, it's time to let go of them. All of the negative feelings you have for others, let go of those too, because once you are free of all grudges can you fully open up to all the positive possibilities.

Start finding at least one thing about yourself that you like every day. Your hair, your eyes, your sense of humor, anything inside or out that you like. Write it down, start a journal about what you like about yourself and if you work on it every day you'll find that there is a lot to like about you. And don't just stop with you in general write about what you like about your life; the people in it, your job, your home, your pets anything that makes you thankful and happy. The more you write about the more you'll attract to have more to write about.

Use daily affirmations to continue your development into a more confident you. Start with "I am happy, I am healthy, and I am wealthy." Then go into something a little deeper about your life. If you continue to say them even if you don't feel it at first, eventually you will. If you tell yourself that you are beautiful or handsome enough times you will start to truly feel it. It takes time and practice, but you will feel it.

Take care of your body, eat healthy and splurge on occasion. Exercise in a way that's best for you and definitely don't over do it. But don't forget to take care of your mind and soul too. Do things that make you happy whether it's watching a movie, listening to music, watching the sun set whatever it is that makes you feel good on the inside take the time to do it. Because in this crazy busy world we forget to take care of ourselves in amidst of multiple jobs, house, kids, spouse, and whatever else. The thing that will keep you going is taking some personal time out to do something that you want to do, whether you are alone or with your friends or your family if you can talk them into it. Just make sure that there is some personal space too, take an hour a week at least to do something by yourself, a long hot shower or bubble bath, read a book, go for a walk, it doesn't matter what it is as long as you get some time to yourself.

Everything I've covered so far is important to having confidence. But another key is having respect. You must have it and show it for yourself and all those that you come in contact with. Because to more respect you have in your life the more positive your life will be. If you follow the instructions I've laid out for you, you'll find that in a short time you will be more confident than ever and happy as a clam.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

IN YOUR HOME
If you have a lot of disrespect going on around you it is hard to get any respect. However, when you are on the giving end of it, it’s hard for you to learn what real respect is. When people are indecent to you they are because you allow them to be. Either they see you being rude to yourself or allowing another to be rude to you and more than likely they despise themselves. You must first and foremost show yourself respect; that in itself demands respect from others. You must also respect anyone you come in contact with, even and especially if they are being rude to you. Because if you return their rudeness with more you are not only going down onto their level but you are also turning your respect for yourself into disrespect.

Sounds a little confusing, huh, but if you look at it over all it’s really very simple. For example, you are having a family BBQ and in the beginning everyone is having a good time and enjoying themselves. But after a while either someone has too much to drink and decides to cause trouble or a discussion gets heated and someone gets out of line. Generally what do we do when someone is yelling at us? We tend to yell back. There is when you are showing their disrespect with more disrespect. “But they started it,” you say. Well that doesn’t mean you have to return it. When someone shows you disrespect in such a manner that is when you must be the bigger person and be gleaming with respect. You start that by saying, “I respectfully decline your disrespect.” First off they won’t know what to do, because they are more than likely trying to get you to show them disrespect by being disrespectful in the first place. But taking the high road will save you from their negative vibes, energy, thoughts however you wish to say it.

They will more than likely again try to bring you down to their level by showing you more disrespect. And at that point you give them a choice. You tell them that they have a chance, but only one and the next time it will be your choice. Tell them that their choice is to let go of the negative that they are spewing and show respect or they must leave. It is their choice; also remind them that this is the only chance that you are giving them the choice. Do not tell them the choice that you will make if they mess up their chance until they do so. If they decline the choice to take the high road or they mess up their chance then you must take action. Do what I call the Roadhouse method, where Patrick Swayze told the other bouncers to be nice when they had to deal with the mean drunks.  You gave them a chance, now that is gone, but that doesn’t mean that you need to show them disrespect. So when that time comes you tell them again that you respectfully decline their disrespect and now they MUST leave. You can give them a choice of how they leave and there are three options. Tell them that they can go quietly, they can be escorted to the door, or you will call the police and they can be taken out in handcuffs. Offer to call them a cab or have someone take them home if they have been drinking, because letting them drive drunk is showing them disrespect. But the choice is theirs of those three; however the choice to stay is no longer available. Also that if they choose to come back into your home the next time they do they should be prepared to be respectful and courteous because you will no longer tolerate their disrespect.
In this you must be strong and bold in your courteousness and in your demand for respect otherwise they will not take you seriously and the situation could get out of hand. If they choose to get physical, avoid it if at all possible, and YES stay courteous. But as soon as you have the chance either tell someone else or call the police yourself. Unless there are other people there that are willing to help you get the person under control, but they too must be courteous, otherwise it’s pointless.

STRANGER IN PUBLIC SETTING
I’m sure we’ve all had this happen, just walking down the street or out shopping and someone thinks that they have the right to get your face. I know I have, sad to say. For example you are out shopping and the sales person or cashier is rude to you. Well first know that their job is very stressful, I know, I used to have that job. More than likely they are projecting their stress onto whomever they come in contact with without even realizing what they are doing. So instead of being rude right back to them show them as much kindness as you can. Smile at them, say please and thank you, tell them to have a nice day; you might actually make their day a little brighter.

Another example is that you come across some random stranger that seems to have a beef with the world and decides to take it out on you. Again you can tell them that you respectfully decline their disrespect. Wish them a nice day and walk away. Keep yourself positive and by getting away from them as quickly as possible you will be able to do that. Hope that your positive vibes positively affected them and move on.

RELATIONSHIPS
Now I’m sure everyone has gone through this at one point or another! No matter what the problem itself is, there is no reason for disrespect between two people in a relationship (or out for that matter) no matter how long they’ve been together. First let me remind you that how other’s treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. Second, how they treat others is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Now that is out of the way we can deal with the situations that make even the nicest people mean as Hell.

Now if it’s a new relationship and there are no children involved it’s a solution that can be easily remedied. However if you’ve let disrespect be a part of your relationship for more than a few months it’s going to take some time to get the respect back. And if there are children involved there is a lot that will need to be righted so that they don’t grow up and end up in the same situation. After all they learn what they see, and they usually see their parents as role models, and you don’t want your children learning to be disrespectful do you? No I would hope not. So how do you fix it you ask? I’m getting there. 

If you haven’t been together very long the answer is simple. Tell the person that you won’t stand for their disrespect and demeaning behavior. If it is at all possible get to the heart of the disrespect and find out why it happened. If you can’t then don’t worry about it and move forward with nothing but respect. If they continue to show you disrespect while you are being nothing but respectful then that is a good time to see that they don’t deserve you. You can remedy that by breaking up with this person and moving on with your life. How can I be so cold you ask? Well it’s simple, even if you feel very deeply for this person and you think they feel the same about you if they are showing you even the occasional disrespect then they either don’t feel that deeply for you or they simply don’t know how to show respect.
Now if you’ve been in the relationship for a while and it’s a reoccurring theme you must stop it in its tracks now. You can’t blame your partner entirely for the situation that you have found yourself in. If you are conscious of it right now, then you can change it. If there are children involved then I hope for your sake that you do change it, because they see it and they will copy it. Most children do as their parents do, and if they see you disrespecting each other they will think that is the way two people are supposed to act. But now you know better and you can make it better and show them better.

As I’ve said before the way a person treats others is a reflection of how they treat themselves and how the other person treats them’. So if you start treating yourself with more respect you will command it from others, and if you show others more respect they will begin to feel it for themselves. It has to start somewhere so it may as well start with you. And since you have read this article you have made one step in the right direction to getting respect back in your life.

So honestly do you show respect for yourself?

Forgiveness is Key

Is your relationship full of negative emotions? Do you harbor anger and disgust for your spouse? Do you often wish you could turn back the hands of time to before you got married or simply wish you could get a quick and easy divorce? And all the while still having even the slightest amount of love for them? If you answered yes to any of those questions, read on.

You can't expect to have a fulfilling relationship if you harbor any negative emotions toward your spouse. Yeah sure they might get on your nerves every now and then, but that feeling passes, at least it's supposed to. But if you have grudges that you've been holding on to for any more time than a few months then it's time to let them go.

If you have loving feelings for your spouse, to the point that you still say "I love you" then you should consider doing what is necessary to make things work. That means letting go of the past and forgiving them. If you keep holding onto all that anger your love will slowly become tainted and will eventually be turned into hate. And any person with hate in their heart has no hope for the future. If it's something that they don't even know about, talk to them. Get everything out in the open, you will feel better. And then you can start to forgive and heal. Having hate in your heart is like having an open wound and if you let it sit there it's going to slowly get worse it's going to get infected and spread to all of your other organs like a disease killing you. That is what negativity is, it's a disease. And the cure you ask? Positivity! Crazy you say? Ask the people that use the Law of Attraction. Ask the people that star in "The Secret" they will all tell you the same thing.

So take step one to release your negativity. Talk about it, get it out in the open, and let it go. Take what ever steps you have to in order to fully let go of it.

Step two is to change your line of thinking about them. You must have once loved them. Remember those loving thoughts and ask yourself if you want to feel like that again. Do you want to be in love? If you do, show them that you want to be in love. Show them that you want their love. Show them that you can build and even better, even stronger love than ever before. See the things that they do to make you smile. See the things they do that warms your heart. Appreciate those things. Show them your appreciation. Show them the respect and love that you want them to show you. Even if they aren't currently showing you that love and respect, the more you show them, the more they will see it and feel it and then return it.

Step three is to change the way you think about yourself. If you've had negative feelings going on for someone else, there is a chance that some of that negativity spread to the way you feel about yourself. So you gotta clean out the cobwebs and wipe the slate clean. Start with daily affirmations and even leaving notes for yourself that are positive and uplifting. The more positive you think and feel about yourself, the better everything else will start to be. Because remember, positivity is the cure!

Step four is to give it time. Things aren't going to rapidly change over night. You have to be patient. You have to be willing to give just a little more. I know it sounds like a load of bs, but it's not. I've been there in my own marriage. And it took several months before we got to a better place. As the days go by we gradually get better and better and are falling deeper and deeper in love. When you let go of all the anxieties and the pain and give in to the desire and love things begin to flow a lot smoother and it makes the ride a little less irritating.

At first I resisted. I said, "No, I will not give any more of myself. He's already taken so much. He will have to be the one to give." I was being foolish. It took time before I realized that he didn't know what I wanted. We talked about it and he felt the exact same way I did. He wanted my love and affection, but I was too negative for him to approach me. I thought to myself, "Wow, I never would have thought he felt the same way." So I did something about it. I let go of all my anger, I forgave him of all the pain he made me feel, I began to show him love. Slowly but surely he came around and saw that I was easier to be around and happy to be with him. And we are still making progress every day.

If my marriage which was on the brink of divorce can change and get better, then so can yours. But! Yes, folks, there is that nasty word. You have to be willing to work at it. You have to be willing to rock the boat. If you aren't willing to rock the boat, then you may as well get out. If that boat is out to sea and you aren't willing to rock it to paddle it back to shore your only choices are to sit there or swim. And if you sit there long enough that chances of survival are very slim. Do what you have to, to make your life worth living!

**I wrote this article in August of 2010 when things were going better in my marriage. Now we are getting divorced, but that doesn't make anything I said in the article any less true. In fact, the way I see it, it makes it even more important. I forgive him for all the hurt he caused me and for his sake I hope he forgives me for all that I may have caused him. In reaching this state of forgiveness I am now able to move forward. I am able to live the life that I have always desired, because I do not have all that hurt and pain holding me back. I am able to now enjoy the present because it is a present every single day. I am now able to move into the future with a pure spirit. I am able to embrace all that I am and all that I will be. I am no longer letting him or the pain he caused me hold me back from the true me, all because I have found a way to forgive him.

Sexiness Comes From Within

No one can tell you that you are sexy until you do! You have to be able to look in the mirror and say, "Wow, I look good." You have to be able to really enjoy who you are and enjoy how you look and feel, before any one else can really appreciate you. And sexiness is not determined by what size you are, no matter what anyone says. You have to feel comfortable in your own body. So it helps to treat it right. Stay healthy, eating right and getting some form of exercise to keep the endorphins pumping, helps to keep you in the right frame of mind and the right frame for your body.

So many of us are discriminated against because of our size, whether people think we are too skinny or too fat. But what other people think doesn't matter, because as long as we are healthy and we like who we are, we'll be just fine. There will always be someone out there that finds you attractive no matter what, but there needs to be two, because you should be one of them!

Its about knowing who you are on the inside and outside. Do you like your personality? Do you like your smile? Do you like your laugh? Do you feel good about the person you are? Every part about you makes you the person you are. If there is something you don't like and you don't try to fix it or accept it, then you'll never feel whole. If you have self esteem issues, you're bound to have issues with feeling sexy. The best thing to do is to take a step back, look at the whole picture and figure out what makes you not feel the way you want to feel. Then you fix it, but if you can't, then you learn to accept it, and change the way you see it.

The saying that we are our own worst critic applies here. If you say you are fat and ugly people around you are going to say the same. But if you apply it in a more positive way and say that you are pretty and attractive, just imagine how others will perceive you. Imagine how they will feel about you if you really like who you are and how you look, because if you feel that you like yourself they will love you and if you love yourself they will adore you. So don't make it the negative, because that just brings everyone around you down to that negative level. So know that you are wonderful and beautiful and those around you will be amazed by your beauty and love your personality!

Life Purpose

We all have a purpose in life. We all have a separate life path or life river; however you wish to think about it. Our paths are not predetermined before we are born by some cosmic power. The true destination however is determined by the person we become. Our decisions make our path unfold before us. Everything we go through (i.e. bad childhood, abuse, rape, etc) we go through for a reason. It is to make us stronger and sometimes it happens so we can help someone else or prevent it from happening from someone else. However if you see these experiences as nothing more than tragedies in your life alone then your path will keep you in that area of pain and suffering. If you choose to see it as a way to make you stronger and a way to turn things around for a better life, then your path will bring so many positive things to you. As we walk down our path the world around us changes and brings things to us in a way of what is known as Law of Attraction. How we think and how we feel brings more of what we are thinking and feeling to us.

Do you feel like you were meant for something greater? Or are you living your dream? Do you love everything in your life? Do you love yourself and everything that makes you, you? These are all questions you have to ask yourself. You have to give yourself a fighting chance to have the dream life you’ve always wanted. If you always say things like “it will never happen in my lifetime,” or “I missed my chance,” then that is where you will stay. As children most of us are taught to reach for the stars and are told that we can be whatever and whoever we want to be, but as we get older we lose faith in that. I think we lose faith in that dream because we lose faith in ourselves. I know I did, but once I found it again, I promised I would never let it go. It took outside coaching for me to find it again, and you can too, but it takes work. It is hard to get out of the negative abyss that we sometimes find ourselves in after a lifetime of bad circumstances, I know this personally. I refuse to be a victim of circumstances any more, and I hope that you will stand with me on that.

Everyone has something that happened to them that affected them so greatly that it would forever change their life, in both positive and negative ways. So you have to ask yourself, will this be the straw that broke the camel’s back or the one that made the camel stronger than ever? You choose the way things affect you. You choose the way your life will pan out. You choose the way you see things. So now I have to throw in an old cliché, do you see the glass as half full or half empty? Either way, you should look at it and see it overflowing from now on. Because once you set off on your dream path it will truly be overflowing in everything you ever imagined. You will find yourself enjoying more and more and learning to see beauty everywhere you look, especially in yourself.

You’ll find yourself growing emotionally, physically, spiritually, and devotionally with every milestone you make on your path. I am not saying that it won’t have its bumps and twists and turns, but if you continue on your path with full faith in yourself, you can’t go wrong. And know that there is always someone there to help you, even if that person has to be you. You have the strength to do it, you have the ability to do it, and before you know it, you have done it.

Your life path is very important and everything that has happened to you up until now is also important, it has made you who you are today. Time to throw another cliché in here, but as they say “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” So do not see your past as anything negative, see it as a survival guide if you have to. Because you are still alive, aren’t you? You have survived everything you have been through so why not use that knowledge of survival to make your path even better. Instead of walking down a path that looks like a dark and creepy alley or something out of a horror film change that path into the most beautiful sites you’ve ever seen. Only you can do that! Get out of the dark and step into the glorious sunshine and smell the roses. Pave your path with gold and have the gardener plant all your favorite flowers along the path. But remember you are the gardener as well, because your path is what you create.