GODDESS ESTEEM

My new phrase and I want to share it with you. Goddess Esteem is basically self esteem, but with power. Because we all have a divine power inside of us that makes us unique. We all have an inner light that I call the Goddess Light.

I think our Self Esteem is like a light bulb deep inside of us, and when we are feeling really low its like one of those old fashioned, energy sucking, dark and dim 20 watt bulbs that no one can tell its even on. But when we are feeling good its one ...of the new, energy saving, bright as all get out, 60 watt bulbs that can be seen by everyone.

And all of our flaws, all of the things that make us human, all of the things that we don't really like about ourselves such as, say a lisp, should be seen as things that make us unique and special. We need to stop looking at our flaws as things that are negative, but instead as things that shape who we are. Such as there are times that I speak with a lisp, and it used to irritate the hell out of me, but now its just part of what makes me, me. And I'm a plus size woman, and I used to struggle with my weight and I got teased a lot, but if I wasn't this size I would be a different person than I am today. Because with what I went through when I was younger it made me the person I am and I am so proud of that. Every thing I went through in my life has helped me get to this point. I have recently stopped looking at things through negative eyes and now I accept who I am, and I love who I am.

But back to Goddess Esteem, realizing that all my faults are also my qualities I have realized my Goddess Potential. I wish to continue to grow and be able to radiate my wonderful personality. I want to be able to walk down the street with my head held high. And catch the eye of all those that walk past me as they see the Goddess Light shining through. I am a Goddess, I just haven't quite yet reached my true Goddess Potential. And you are a Goddess too, whether you see it or not!

The Need for Change in Music Videos

I wanted to play some music for my toddler so I put the tv on MTV in hopes he would dance for me. He's a hilarious dancer! Some day I'll get a video and put it up here. But when I turned it on a Miley Cyrus video came on and as soon as I saw what she had on I started to think it was gonna turn into a porno. Seriously she had shorts on that made her look like a hooker with the cowboy boots. The shorts were so high if she bent over I would have been able to see everything. I actually made my son look away. I really hope that he doesn't grow up thinking that is the way girls are supposed to dress!!! And if I ever have a daughter and she tries dressing like that, I will burn every piece of clothing that even remotely resembles that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for looking good and feeling sexy, but have a little dignity while you are doing what yo gotta do. I know that they tell her and other celebrities like her to dress like that. And its mostly to sell the music, but is it really necessary to go that drastic? And to take someone like her that was once known as tween icon Hannah Montana, and turn her into basically a porn star, frankly that's just sick! And on her wikipedia page it says that she works with a few different charities and is quoted on her faith, and then on the next paragraph it talks about her posing topless for Vanity Fair. And then I did a search for pics of her, and some of them she looks very respectable, and the rest she looks like she's posing for porn.

It amazes me that these celebrities that start as child actors/icons don't realize the power they have with their audiences. It amazes me that after they become famous and they have all of these young girls buying their merchandise and tickets and what not that they still choose to dress with such bad taste that eventually gives these girls ideas. When they should be more responsible with their fame and show their audiences that you don't have to look like a hooker to be popular!! Its not just Miley Cyrus, but after watching her video, I was thankful that I don't have a young daughter that can be influenced by her. And I feel sorry for the mothers that do.

To me, celebrities like Miley Cyrus, should be showing young girls how to be happy being who they are. They should be leading by example. I know they are human and are under a lot of stress and pressure and will eventually have a wild side, just like the rest of us. But they can be a little more responsible about it, because they are constantly being watched. And bad publicity is not good publicity if its seen by their fans/followers. And as parents we should be keeping a pretty good eye on this kind of thing, but we can't stop them from seeing everything. But as icons they need to take the responsibility a little more serious.

Because the message that they are sending out is that you will only be popular if you dress like a slut and act like one too. And that is part of why the amount of rapes is going up, the amount of attacks on young women in general is going up. We need to put a stop to this now!! When I was younger it was Madonna that was such a big influence, and we all know the image she put out. But hers was even less slutty than what we see today. I have had friends that dressed like what they saw in videos and in magazines and have all been attacked at least once. And just like those powerful icons that are depicted in bars or parties getting wasted out of their minds, the said friends did the same, and then wondered why they woke up after being raped.

I'm not saying that women need to dress like nuns, I'm just saying that we are sexy no matter what we wear, because sexy is a state of mind!! And girls under the age of 17 shouldn't want to feel sexy, because that is how we end up with so many teen pregnancies. So if I could reach any teen icon I would tell them to promote self awareness, self confidence, and self esteem!! You have a responsibility to your fans/followers to show them how much respect you have for yourself, and how they can have it too.

Depressing News

You know that things are really sad when you can't even watch the news for 5 minutes with out one of the top stories having something to do with violence. Every single time that I turn on the news there is a story about some horrific crime that almost sounds like a Shakespearean Tragedy. Its "Youth brings gun to school, kills 3" or "Mother of 5 kills herself in front of children" or "drive by shooting kills 7 year old girl" or something like that. I mean how can we even consider ourselves human any more considering the way that we treat each other.

I miss reading things like, "Electrical Fire Demolishes House, But Family Survives" or "10 year old Boy Saves Baby Sister From Drowning". Those are like tragedies but they have happy endings. Is there no such thing as a happy ending any more? Even newspapers and magazines are filled with this depressing dribble. I guess depression sells, disasters are made into profit margins. I realize that it is news, but can't we add in something good for a change?

Are Diet Pills all that Necessary?

I know that I'm really not one to talk about this considering my own low self-esteem, but I think I've come a long way so far. I want make this post so that people can understand that you may have insecurities and you may have low self-esteem, but you change that. You can be strong and confident. It takes a lot of work, but it can be done. You just have to look deep inside yourself and find that inner Goddess, or God if you are guy. I know that a lot of guys have just as much trouble with their self-esteem as women do, they just won't admit it. But there is so much potential in each and every one of us that we neglect to even realize. You have to learn to be comfortable in your own body to start with.

I have always been a big girl, ok, and it wasn't until a few years ago that I came to accept that I will never be skinny. Now I've had a baby and since I've been a stay at home mom I've gained all of that weight back. Yes, I'll admit that I have freaked out a few times about it. But I know that as long as it is not affecting my health that its not a bad thing. My husband still finds me attractive and as long as I stay off of the scale I feel beautiful. Unless I'm on my period, and girls you know what I'm talking about. LOL. But the point is I am now comfortable with my size and no long worry about being skinny, because I know it won't ever happen. I'm still healthy and now I'm happy to. I weigh over 200 lbs and I'm short, and guess what I'm still beautiful.

Now I'm sure some of you say that being short (5'6") and weighing over 200lbs can't be healthy. Well as I will admit that I do have some physical problems, but they have nothing to do with my weight. And I have the ability to still be a wonderful mother to my son, and a loving wife to my husband. There is nothing wrong with being a big person, as long as it doesn't affect your health. Not that there isn't anything wrong with being skinny, again, as long as it doesn't affect your health.

Here's an example of skinniness affecting your health: Last night I was watching Family Guy and it was the episode where Lois pursued her dream of becoming a model. To keep her edge she was taking diet pills and at the end of the episode she and another model were using their ribs as xylophones. That to me could not have been healthy. Now I don't really have anything against skinny people only when they say that you have to be skinny to be sexy. That is where they are wrong! Either type can be sexy-- ITS ALL ABOUT THE ATTITUDE! I'm so tired of seeing all these diet pill commercials that show decent looking women that also look healthy, but they "choose" (or so the commercial says) to take this diet pill and supposedly they loose like 50lbs in 2 weeks or something like that. And they say that it is completely healthy and safe, but honestly how safe can losing that much weight that fast be? But what passes for beauty these daysis honestly very sad.

The Economy

Ok we have a new president and this is a new year. But we are still struggling as a country to buy food, keep our cars filled with gas, and keep a roof over our heads. My husband and I are struggling to do all of that. Currently he is the only one working so I can stay home with our son that is a toddler, because of the outrageous price of day care and the fact that they are all full. But because for some reason our apartment complex is still raising our rent every year, I am now going to have to go back to work. He is going to have to miss out on any possible over time at his job so I can go work for minimum wage, which is half of what he makes, just so we can keep food in our son's belly. I am wondering how it will work with one car and our hours possibly overlapping. But like all other families we will have to make it work. Its really sad though that now days the only way a person can stay at home with their child(ren) is if they are born in or marry into a rich family.

If I knew this was going to happen I would have kept my old job, that I hated and was stressed at all the time. But I would not have to worry about having enough food or even about where we are going to live. But I think in apartment complexes they should not be able to raise your rent every year. Especially not $20 every year or every time you renew your lease. I think they should bring it down if you stay for more than 3 years or so, and actually my husband has been in the same complex for almost 10 years now. Granted not all in the same apartment, but that shouldn't matter. It should be that they start knocking off $20 maybe every 2 years. To me that would be more of an incentive to stay here. But they say that this is the best complex in the county, and honestly if that is so, its a very sad, sad thing. But that is another blog entirely....

But my point about the economy is that there should be more force to come down on the people that don't pay their taxes. And for all the musicians, actors, wall street fat cats, and everyone else that makes over $1,000 a day should all have to start spending money on other people. Like you see the commercials for the starving children in Africa and the companies that are endorsed by famous people want us hard working, broker than a joke, also hungry people to give our money to these kids that we know nothing about. But my suggestion is why don't they start giving some of their millions and millions of dollars to these people. And the people that are affected by natural disasters that are trying to get help from FEMA get something, but I don't think that is nearly enough. But if some of these richer than rich brand name people would start donating their "hard earned" cash, they would all be able to help our economy emensly. But that is just my opinion.