Live, Learn, Teach

Life is hard. Whether you are an adult or not; whether you have kids or you are one, the fact remains that life is hard. Honestly it is meant to be so that we can learn the lessons we are supposed to. Personally I feel that we are meant to learn these lessons and then pass them on to the next generation. We continue to repeat past mistakes and we continue to struggle, but are we doing everything we can to make life a little easier. No! We are doing nothing to truly insure that they are going to be able to take care of things in the future. We are letting them run wild in the streets like we don’t care what happens to them. Now I’m sure that might sound a bit harsh since they are going to school and learning history, but we are not teaching them not to repeat it. And we aren’t exactly teaching them the whole truth, only what the government deems necessary for them to know. The rest is up to us. We need to stop letting superficial issues be the resting place of our conversations with our children. Get down deep to the nitty gritty parts of life. As much as reading, writing, and arithmetic are important so are life skills like self-esteem, how to deal with difficult situations, or how to be the best version of themselves that they can be.

School can’t teach them everything; something has to be done to help the schools. As it is they are overburdened, overworked, and underfunded. As parents struggling to survive in this economy we are going through the same thing. However it is our responsibility to prepare our children for their future. We need to prepare them for our future also, because who do you think is going to be taking care of us when we no longer can? They need us to show them the way, the right way! Most of us have very little time for ourselves let alone our children, but we need to find the time. Make the time. Make a time budget so that you will always have the time for your family. It is vital to the welfare of not only your child’s future but also the future of the world. You don’t know what kind of influence they will have or what they will do with it. Imagine for one moment that your child was elected President of the United States. What kind of President do you think they would be? Even if for some wild and crazy possibility they were elected President with the attitude they have today, what kind of President do you think they would really be? For some of us that is a scary thought. That is why we need to do the best we can to teach them to be the best version of themselves, because they could become anyone. Why not insure that the person they become is a person worthy of your child’s name. 

Right now as a whole our species is producing more waste than anything. We are overpopulating, over producing, and over polluting and in the process dragging ourselves deeper and deeper into this sad place of existence. We are starving in different places all over the world. We are murdering and raping each other every day in different places all over the world. We are homeless, we are sick, we are scared, and we are fighting for our lives every day all over the world. We are selfish, we are greedy, and we are full of hatred. We need to stop thinking with the “us/them” attitude and acting like spoiled children, because it is only teaching our children to be spoiled. We must learn to share with one another. We must learn that we are all connected to each other. We are all the same. Yes we are all different. But we are all the same. We all bleed the same blood, different blood types or not, it’s all the same. We are one. One species, just different breeds. We must start to see each other as true equals and as we would see ourselves and treat each other as such. Or we will continue to feel separated from everyone and everything and lost in a world of greed. Do you really want that kind of life for your children or your grandchildren? Or do you want them to be able to go through life with less difficulty than you did. One where they might actually have a chance to make a difference is a possibility if you teach them right.

This is where we learn from our mistakes and teach our children a better way to live. Teach them not to be afraid of life, but to take charge of it. Teach them how to handle difficult situations that way they don’t have to turn to drugs or alcohol. If you teach them that they are worth something, that their limitations are endless then they might believe it for themselves. These days we are truly our own worst enemy, because we have too much self-doubt, fear, and anger sitting inside of us. We are so full of all this negativity that it is no wonder our kids today have such low self-esteem and are going through such hell these days. They see how we are as their parents and they follow our example. We are not only their first teachers, but we should be their most influential ones. We need to teach them how to deal with bullies or how not to be one. We need to teach them how to handle money, so they don’t have to struggle later. We need to teach them about life after high school, because they look to us for life’s answers even if they don’t actually ask. So all you have to do is teach them right and lead by example. The best way to teach them how to be the best version of themselves is to be the best you that you can be. Lead by example.

Who Is In Control Of Your Life

Who is in control of your life?  What is going right or wrong in your life? When things go wrong, who do you blame? Serious questions that we should all take a step back and think about. I personally have been through a lot of stuff that made me lose control, everything went wrong, and I blamed everyone else. I could not see that it was me causing all my problems. I was so busy blaming everyone else that I could not see that it was my own disbelief in myself that was holding me back. I could not see past my own negative feelings to see anything positive. I just wanted to point the finger everywhere else than where it belonged. I would say that I was too distracted by my son. I would say my husband didn’t support me enough. I know now that I was scared. I let everything stop me from being me.

I know that I have to stand up and take responsibility for my actions. I cannot continue to put the blame anywhere else but where it belongs, on me. After my life kind of fell apart before my eyes it sent me on one hell of a roller coaster. Except I couldn’t get off of it. It just kept making me go around and around and around. Finally I’m off, but dizzy as hell. I know that before I can take my first real step, I have to take a break to sit down and get my bearings. It’s time to step back and clear my head or I am going to only wind up back on that stupid roller coaster. I am making the choice to take control and to rebuild my life better than it has ever been. It can be done, I see people starting over every day; now it is my turn. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I do know that it is going to be worth it. But it’s going to have to start with a good foundation; which means I have to make sure my head and my heart are both in the right place. I also have to make sure that I rely on my support system more; they are there for a reason; so I don’t give up again! I have already sacrificed too much to give up now! Others have also sacrificed for me to give up now!

I know that there is a lot that is out of my control, but I have a hard time accepting that. So I tell myself every day, that I am only one person and what is out of my control I will leave up to God. I know that whatever the future holds I can handle it. I know that since I’ve made it this far, there is no reason to turn back now, besides there actually is no way back. You can’t go back, no matter how you look at it. You are actually standing still when you think you are going back. You’ve got only forward to go, or you can stand still until you are ready to keep moving. Ultimately the decision is yours. And there is no one to blame but yourself for where you are. I’ve been afraid of what would change if I were to keep walking forward, but I know things have to change from time to time. Without change nothing would ever improve.  So think about that the next time something changes or causes change in your life. You never know, it could be bringing something even better for you.  That’s where faith comes in. You have to learn to let go and tell God what you desire for the outcome and leave it up to him. Have faith that he will provide if you are willing to trust him and walk with him.

Some say that if you think positive and speak positive then you will start to feel more positive and your life will actually start to go in a more positive direction.  Many also say that’s ridiculous, but their disbelief keeps them from allowing it to happen to them. I’m the same way; I’ve said all the same stuff. In reality though, it’s just hard for those of us that simply think in a negative way to believe that anything positive can happen. But what we don’t realize is that we are not allowing positive to happen to us, because our negative attitudes keep us closed off from positive change. Then you say, ‘yeah, just because I say it doesn’t mean I believe it.’ Guess what, you don’t have to believe it. Because eventually you will. If you make yourself do it, even if you don’t feel it, over and over, and you keep doing it. Eventually you are going to actually start believing it. But through disbelief many are unwilling to even try. Or they start, but don’t keep it up long enough for it to sink in. It depends on how deep that negativity goes down to your core is how long it will take to flush it away. Think of all your negative emotions like molasses creeping in through your pores and trying to suffocate you through your body. If you want to feel better you are going to have to flush it out of your system.

It’s not easy, but if you are willing to keep trying and keep moving forward then anything is possible. No matter how ridiculous it seems, or even feels. The people that are telling you that if you think positive, then positive things will happen for you; they know what they are talking about. They’ve done it themselves and know it works. I’ve seen it happen for me plenty, but then usually something happens that takes me back to that negative place. I have yet to fully retrain my brain to think positively all the time. But when it does think in positive mode, but when it does everything in my life is better! I feel better physically, emotionally, spiritually. I see my path much more clearly. Things just start going my way with a lot of stuff in my life. Then when I hit that snag, it gets caught and damn near destroys everything I’ve worked so hard for. Usually I let it get me down and then I’m stuck in the same spot for months because I can’t focus on anything other than that one snag. I now know not to focus on the snag, just fix it however you can and keep working. It’s ok to freak out a little, but don’t dwell on it. Just say, ‘ok, stuff happens… it’s happened, but I can’t change it so may as well go with it’. Because you can’t go back, you can only move forward or stand still. You just have the make the choice of which you would rather do. Do you want to stay in the same spot you are or do you want to move on and keep living your life?

Attitude Should Equal Effort

Whatever it is that you want to do with your life you need to make sure that your attitude equals the effort you put into it. You can’t just think that just because you want it, that it is going to happen. It’s not quite that easy.  You need to have the right attitude to start with. You need to believe in whatever it is you are going to do and most important believe in your ability to make it happen. You have to believe whole heartedly that you will succeed. If you don’t believe in yourself then you don’t have the right attitude. Your attitude is more important than you might think, because it is the energy within your purpose. You have to open your mind to the possibilities that can happen for you, because if you don’t believe in them, they can’t happen. If you are not able to put the right energy into it, you are simply wasting your time. You don’t want to put negative energy into your future, or it will always be there. Give yourself a fresh start, it is ok to do it if you are willing to do it right.  Life is already difficult, so why do you want to make it any harder on yourself?

Start from this point making the right decisions that will make your life what it is supposed to be. If you don’t have a family, then do it for yourself. If you do have a family then you owe it to them to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be. Times change and we must change with them. Think of it like an upgrade, but first you should run an antivirus and get rid of all those nasty viruses that are taking up too much space. Think of your brain, your personality, like a computer and you can just clean it up. If you replace at least half of your negative thoughts with positive ones and you’d be surprised as to how you feel. Type or write them out so that you can see them. Start with your fears, doubts and every negative thought you have about yourself, get them all down in list form. Then for every negative thought on another page put down a positive thought and cross out the negative one.  You will be strengthening everything that you are with this technique, if you are truly willing to follow through with it. You will be finding that your weaknesses can become your strengths.

 Let go of the fear, worry, anger, and any doubt you may have. Whatever you need to do to confront it, do it. As long as there is any doubt in your mind, it will stay there and make itself at home inside you. Kick all of those negative emotions out of you; or rather make them work for you. Use them as motivation. Turn all of those negative feelings into your greatest strengths. You can’t be afraid to move forward or to be something. You are already someone, and darn it, you are someone special. You know you have something to offer, you just have to become the best at it and put it out there. Do your absolute best even if it is just to spite the nay sayers, at first, then turn it into your passion! Then turn your passion into your being. Be who it is that you want people to see when they look at you. Let that be who you are inside and out.

Remember it’s your life; you have to be the one to live it. You have to be the one to do it, day in and day out. Since it’s your life, how do you want it to go? How do you want to be remembered? What do you want people to say when they talk about you? Some things you should think about when you are trying to figure out who you are.  Think about the long run, what kind of person do you want to be?

Attitude is not everything though. EFFORT! You must put in the same amount of effort into your life as the amount of attitude you put into it. It’s that nasty four letter word that comes in to play here; work. You really do have to work for what you want. The more effort you put into something, the more you’ll get out of it. Also realize that the better the attitude you have, the more effort you will want to put into it.  Which in turn means the more you want to get out of life, means the more effort you’re going to have to put into it.

 It won’t even feel like work once you’ve turned it into your passion and into who you are. It is a very long process, but like anything in life it will be worth the wait. Once you really start working towards your goals time will also seem to speed up because you’re enjoying what you do. It is so important to enjoy what you do and who you are. Even if things aren’t going your way right now, they can start if you are willing to match your effort to your attitude. Are you willing to go the extra mile, to take that extra step? Go above and beyond the call of duty for your life. No one else is going to do it for you. Your dreams are not going to be handed to you on a silver platter; you have to work for them. Why not get started now?

Get Into Your Flow

Life is like a river, you must go with the flow. I read that in a book once, and it really made me think. When you are rushing through life looking for that next thrill it’s like you are white water rafting and you better hold on because it can get dangerous. When you fight the current, you struggle too hard and the current drags you under and if you’re not careful you’ll drown. Fighting the current in trying to stay in one place can turn you into an island, if you stand there long enough. The water will change directions, levels, and in many other ways over time, but the best way to go through it is to go with the flow. Each person’s life is a separate river, and many times they connect and separate and sometimes they simply run parallel to each other. But each person’s role in their own river changes as that person changes.

No matter what position you are in while you are in your river, you can change it if you choose to. Personally in my own river I’ve nearly drown several times, turned into an island a few times, been white water rafting, etc. At the moment its smooth sailing, just chillin’ and floatin’ down the river enjoying the scenery. Just going with the flow in between a few rapids here and there that are life’s bumps just to make sure I’m still awake and to teach me the lessons I must learn along the way. Although every now and then I feel the current changing around me, occasionally pulling me under. At those moments of pure struggle, my lungs filling with water, my vision blurred by the force, my feet struggling to find solid ground I realize I have to stop fighting. Once I stop fighting I find myself back at the surface trying to get rid of all the water I took in during my struggle. But at each occurrence as soon as I have a chance to fill my lungs with air again, I look at the situation and try to find the lesson to be learned so that I may avoid it if it crosses my path again.

It’s an intense feeling in every position of the river. For me being able to relax and float on the surface is pure bliss. It’s soothing and enriching and fun to be able to watch the scenery, to pick flowers along the bank, to feel the sun on my face. It’s energizing simply floating along the river as if on an inner tube. That’s when everything in life seems to work and fit together. Like when traffic seems to split for you or you only hit green lights. For me it’s when my child behaves and my husband decides to cook dinner. It’s when my hair does what I want and everything I’m wearing matches perfectly. Knowing that I’ll get to accomplish everything I’ve set out to accomplish. They are the moments where time sometimes stands still so that it can be fully enjoyed. The feeling of pure bliss I get when my son kisses me good-night and says, “I wuv you.” You could consider it like surfing; catching the perfect wave and riding it as long as possible.

Being pulled under, however, is very scary; it’s intense fear, dread, and terror. It’s like there’s a creature at the bottom of the river and it’s got a hold of you with a very, very firm grip. It’s getting a flat tire in the middle of traffic when you’re already late for work that makes you lose your job and going home to huge mess that is left for you to clean up. It’s finding out your spouse is cheating on you with your best friend and is going to leave you and take your children. For me it is sometimes constant, it’s my fears getting the best of me, my child making an enormous mess of my just cleaned home, it’s getting on the scale everyday waiting for the number to get smaller. They are feelings like the things that bullies used to say about me are coming true; it’s a fear that I’ll never be good enough. Every time I have these feelings that monster gets a hold of my ankles and drags me down as far as I will let it take me. If I’m not careful and never find a way to conquer my fears that control the beast, it will eventually drag me down and I won’t be able to get back to the surface.

Then there is becoming an island, and it is a great frustration. It’s like being stuck in a rut that just keeps getting deeper and deeper and you end up with a giant hole. It’s almost like being put in time out, but they forgot and left you there for as long as it takes to truly learn your lesson. It’s like wanting to have a luxurious life style, and I mean really wanting it, but not doing what it takes to have it or keep it; like getting an education and a good job. It’s like wanting to be a well known fashion designer but at the same time not willing to learn how to sew or take classes that would help in any way. I’ve been many different islands for many different reasons but as the water began to erode my edges I realized I was being stubborn and foolish for thinking that what I wanted would simply be handed to me. If you don’t learn that lesson that has turned you into an island eventually the water will erode you down until there is nothing left and you are lining the bottom of your river.

There are many reasons that the speed of the current can get faster, but none as dangerous as the high speeds over big and jagged rocks. When you first fall in love the current speeds up, when you are a teenager the current runs really fast almost all the time, when you become a parent the current hits you like a freight train. But when you’re looking to get to the end of the river as fast as you can those jagged rocks cut through your skin like glass as you bounce around and over the top of them. For me, as a teenager my river was fast, hard, and kind of scary. When I fell in love it was a fast but smooth ride. When I became a parent it was really scary at first and still is at times, and I know the real adventure has just begun, like when he becomes a teenager. No matter what causes your river’s current to speed up you best hold on tight while you can so that you can enjoy it while it lasts until it levels out again. If you still only want the speed and don’t hold on you can either be cut to pieces by the rocks or get knocked off and dragged down to the bottom of the river.

Accept You For You

When we think of acceptance, we think of how others will accept us or how we will accept them. But that should be a given, an automatic response when meeting someone new. Why do we feel that others have to work to get our acceptance? At the same time why do we feel we have to be someone other than ourselves for others to like us? It should be as simple as a handshake. If we can trust again we can have wonderful friendships again. But how do we get to that point that we can trust others? Well we have to start with trusting ourselves. It all starts within, and if everyone decided to change that part of themselves; imagine what the possibilities would be. We need to start to think of how we will accept ourselves. We have to let go of all the negative outside influences; all the things that people say, all the looks and what not that make us feel less than the best about ourselves. We have to let go of all of the pain and anger that those influences have caused us. It’s hard to let go of that pain, but it’s more worth it than you can even imagine. It starts with realizing that those things about you that others point out, is what we most dislike about ourselves. It is our own subconscious working against us. Because as much as we want others to accept those things about us that we do not, they cannot accept them until we do. We have to realize that all of the things that we "hate" about ourselves are what make us who we are; they are what make us beautiful.

Let me tell you a little about me. I'm 27 yrs old, I'm 5 ft 6", and I weigh over 200lbs. I have extremely pale skin, so pale that doctors have no trouble finding a vein because they are visible through my skin. I have sensitive skin so it’s almost always broken out one way or another in one place or another. And the brake outs tend to lead to shingles from time to time, depending on my stress level. I have very thin fingernails so they are always falling apart. I have a very miss proportioned body with large thighs an even larger rear end with slightly small (C cup, but looks small on my body) breasts and a”muffin top” tummy. I have dark brown hair with lots and lots of streaks of gray; which is something genetic that I get from my father. The overall structure of my body is like a man's with broad shoulders, wide hips, and big feet.

Those are just a few of the things about me that I have disliked about my body over the years for one reason or another. But I have realized that I can't really change those things. I mean sure I could get liposuction, dye my hair till it falls out, and get a spray tan, but what is the point all that wears off one way or another. And then I'd be back to the same old me, so why not accept it now. So I let go of the pain and the anger that all of these things have caused me. I don't always like them, but I accept them as part of who I am big feet and all. "Would a rose smell as sweet, by any other name?"—Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. The women he wrote about and had in mind for his plays were all different shapes, and all shades of beauty. We must realize that our beauty on the outside is linked to our beauty on the inside. Others see us as we see ourselves. There are a few that are able to look through our own hatred and barriers, and love us more than we can ever love ourselves. And those are the people that we must learn to hold on to.

Besides no matter how much I change on the outside that would change me on the inside, but not always for the better. That’s why there are movies of “the dorks or losers” becoming Prom King or Queen. But you can have many different results, you can have Carrie or She’s All That. It’s your choice, when you get what you want, how will you react. I could gain beauty on the outside and become vain and selfish on the inside. Or I could choose to first love myself on the inside and see my beauty as it is on the outside.  What will you feel on the inside about what is happening on the outside.  I would not be the person that I so dearly enjoy being, if I did much of anything to the carrier of my soul. I have come to think of my body as a temple and it houses the greatest Goddess I know, me. Not to mention that what I've gone through because of the way I look has made me the strong and independent and wonderful woman on the inside. All of the teasing, the dirty looks, the fat jokes and everything else that someone else used to hurt me, has given me the courage to stand up and say, I love who I am and now you may love me too. For me, the only thing I will ever change is to enhance my health, or to further decorate my body, that's it. Because I am who I am and I love who I am, grey hair, fat rolls, big butt and all. We should also take a lesson from Popeye, "I am what I am, I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" toot toot. Lol.

I know that it is a hard road to acceptance, but take it one flaw at a time and see the beauty in it. That will help you find your acceptance.

Craving Confidence?

Some people will say that having confidence is simple and easy. I can't speak for those people, but I can speak for myself and say that it's not as easy as it might be for someone that has never been teased or been called a nasty name. It's also possible that some of these same people have not dealt with any form of disorder from an eating disorder to any other emotional/physical unbalance. It's easy for a person that has always had confidence to say that having confidence is easy.

Knowing that you want to have confidence and having it are two separate things, but they don't have to be. First you have to let go of all of the negative outside influences! Basically stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, that is a big part of it. You can't walk around worrying if someone is going to like you or like what you say or do or even wear. Because they aren't important, the important thing is that you like you or you believe in what you say and do and like what you wear. Which brings me to my next point all of the internal negative feelings and thoughts that you have about yourself, it's time to let go of them. All of the negative feelings you have for others, let go of those too, because once you are free of all grudges can you fully open up to all the positive possibilities.

Start finding at least one thing about yourself that you like every day. Your hair, your eyes, your sense of humor, anything inside or out that you like. Write it down, start a journal about what you like about yourself and if you work on it every day you'll find that there is a lot to like about you. And don't just stop with you in general write about what you like about your life; the people in it, your job, your home, your pets anything that makes you thankful and happy. The more you write about the more you'll attract to have more to write about.

Use daily affirmations to continue your development into a more confident you. Start with "I am happy, I am healthy, and I am wealthy." Then go into something a little deeper about your life. If you continue to say them even if you don't feel it at first, eventually you will. If you tell yourself that you are beautiful or handsome enough times you will start to truly feel it. It takes time and practice, but you will feel it.

Take care of your body, eat healthy and splurge on occasion. Exercise in a way that's best for you and definitely don't over do it. But don't forget to take care of your mind and soul too. Do things that make you happy whether it's watching a movie, listening to music, watching the sun set whatever it is that makes you feel good on the inside take the time to do it. Because in this crazy busy world we forget to take care of ourselves in amidst of multiple jobs, house, kids, spouse, and whatever else. The thing that will keep you going is taking some personal time out to do something that you want to do, whether you are alone or with your friends or your family if you can talk them into it. Just make sure that there is some personal space too, take an hour a week at least to do something by yourself, a long hot shower or bubble bath, read a book, go for a walk, it doesn't matter what it is as long as you get some time to yourself.

Everything I've covered so far is important to having confidence. But another key is having respect. You must have it and show it for yourself and all those that you come in contact with. Because to more respect you have in your life the more positive your life will be. If you follow the instructions I've laid out for you, you'll find that in a short time you will be more confident than ever and happy as a clam.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

IN YOUR HOME
If you have a lot of disrespect going on around you it is hard to get any respect. However, when you are on the giving end of it, it’s hard for you to learn what real respect is. When people are indecent to you they are because you allow them to be. Either they see you being rude to yourself or allowing another to be rude to you and more than likely they despise themselves. You must first and foremost show yourself respect; that in itself demands respect from others. You must also respect anyone you come in contact with, even and especially if they are being rude to you. Because if you return their rudeness with more you are not only going down onto their level but you are also turning your respect for yourself into disrespect.

Sounds a little confusing, huh, but if you look at it over all it’s really very simple. For example, you are having a family BBQ and in the beginning everyone is having a good time and enjoying themselves. But after a while either someone has too much to drink and decides to cause trouble or a discussion gets heated and someone gets out of line. Generally what do we do when someone is yelling at us? We tend to yell back. There is when you are showing their disrespect with more disrespect. “But they started it,” you say. Well that doesn’t mean you have to return it. When someone shows you disrespect in such a manner that is when you must be the bigger person and be gleaming with respect. You start that by saying, “I respectfully decline your disrespect.” First off they won’t know what to do, because they are more than likely trying to get you to show them disrespect by being disrespectful in the first place. But taking the high road will save you from their negative vibes, energy, thoughts however you wish to say it.

They will more than likely again try to bring you down to their level by showing you more disrespect. And at that point you give them a choice. You tell them that they have a chance, but only one and the next time it will be your choice. Tell them that their choice is to let go of the negative that they are spewing and show respect or they must leave. It is their choice; also remind them that this is the only chance that you are giving them the choice. Do not tell them the choice that you will make if they mess up their chance until they do so. If they decline the choice to take the high road or they mess up their chance then you must take action. Do what I call the Roadhouse method, where Patrick Swayze told the other bouncers to be nice when they had to deal with the mean drunks.  You gave them a chance, now that is gone, but that doesn’t mean that you need to show them disrespect. So when that time comes you tell them again that you respectfully decline their disrespect and now they MUST leave. You can give them a choice of how they leave and there are three options. Tell them that they can go quietly, they can be escorted to the door, or you will call the police and they can be taken out in handcuffs. Offer to call them a cab or have someone take them home if they have been drinking, because letting them drive drunk is showing them disrespect. But the choice is theirs of those three; however the choice to stay is no longer available. Also that if they choose to come back into your home the next time they do they should be prepared to be respectful and courteous because you will no longer tolerate their disrespect.
In this you must be strong and bold in your courteousness and in your demand for respect otherwise they will not take you seriously and the situation could get out of hand. If they choose to get physical, avoid it if at all possible, and YES stay courteous. But as soon as you have the chance either tell someone else or call the police yourself. Unless there are other people there that are willing to help you get the person under control, but they too must be courteous, otherwise it’s pointless.

STRANGER IN PUBLIC SETTING
I’m sure we’ve all had this happen, just walking down the street or out shopping and someone thinks that they have the right to get your face. I know I have, sad to say. For example you are out shopping and the sales person or cashier is rude to you. Well first know that their job is very stressful, I know, I used to have that job. More than likely they are projecting their stress onto whomever they come in contact with without even realizing what they are doing. So instead of being rude right back to them show them as much kindness as you can. Smile at them, say please and thank you, tell them to have a nice day; you might actually make their day a little brighter.

Another example is that you come across some random stranger that seems to have a beef with the world and decides to take it out on you. Again you can tell them that you respectfully decline their disrespect. Wish them a nice day and walk away. Keep yourself positive and by getting away from them as quickly as possible you will be able to do that. Hope that your positive vibes positively affected them and move on.

RELATIONSHIPS
Now I’m sure everyone has gone through this at one point or another! No matter what the problem itself is, there is no reason for disrespect between two people in a relationship (or out for that matter) no matter how long they’ve been together. First let me remind you that how other’s treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. Second, how they treat others is a reflection of how they treat themselves. Now that is out of the way we can deal with the situations that make even the nicest people mean as Hell.

Now if it’s a new relationship and there are no children involved it’s a solution that can be easily remedied. However if you’ve let disrespect be a part of your relationship for more than a few months it’s going to take some time to get the respect back. And if there are children involved there is a lot that will need to be righted so that they don’t grow up and end up in the same situation. After all they learn what they see, and they usually see their parents as role models, and you don’t want your children learning to be disrespectful do you? No I would hope not. So how do you fix it you ask? I’m getting there. 

If you haven’t been together very long the answer is simple. Tell the person that you won’t stand for their disrespect and demeaning behavior. If it is at all possible get to the heart of the disrespect and find out why it happened. If you can’t then don’t worry about it and move forward with nothing but respect. If they continue to show you disrespect while you are being nothing but respectful then that is a good time to see that they don’t deserve you. You can remedy that by breaking up with this person and moving on with your life. How can I be so cold you ask? Well it’s simple, even if you feel very deeply for this person and you think they feel the same about you if they are showing you even the occasional disrespect then they either don’t feel that deeply for you or they simply don’t know how to show respect.
Now if you’ve been in the relationship for a while and it’s a reoccurring theme you must stop it in its tracks now. You can’t blame your partner entirely for the situation that you have found yourself in. If you are conscious of it right now, then you can change it. If there are children involved then I hope for your sake that you do change it, because they see it and they will copy it. Most children do as their parents do, and if they see you disrespecting each other they will think that is the way two people are supposed to act. But now you know better and you can make it better and show them better.

As I’ve said before the way a person treats others is a reflection of how they treat themselves and how the other person treats them’. So if you start treating yourself with more respect you will command it from others, and if you show others more respect they will begin to feel it for themselves. It has to start somewhere so it may as well start with you. And since you have read this article you have made one step in the right direction to getting respect back in your life.

So honestly do you show respect for yourself?